MoodGYM

So the past couple of days haven't been so bad, i seem to be coping a bit better in what to me are stressful situations and my thought processing mechanism seems to be coming back. Maybe this is down to the Prozac kicking in, I'm definitely starting to experience some of the side effects from it!

I have came across an Australian website called MoodGYM. Its an interactive program designed to help you learn skills to enable you to cope with depression and anxiety. It is based on cognitive behavioural therapy(CBT) and interpersonal Therapy (IPT). There are 5 modules to work your way through in your own time with exercises to complete throughout. I have nearly finished the first module on feelings and just have to complete the last exercise where over the next week i need to note down three encounters that were associated with negative or positive feelings and see if I can identify my thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Im not expecting miracles from this website but hope it can maybe help me change my way of thinking


It has also got me thing more about CBT and IPT so i'm away now to look into them in more more depth.

a not so beautiful sunday

Yesterday wasn't so good. It should have been tho. My partner was in all day so I had help with the girls and all the mundane housework tasks but i spent the day panicking about the fact it would soon be Monday and that my partner would be working all week so i would be going it alone again! with hindsight i'm thinking why did i not just make the most of him being there?

We spent the afternoon at an open day along at the local football ground. There was hundreds of people there enjoying a family day out. I used to really cherish every moment of family days out but now I find them painful! I really tried to enjoy it but at the back of my mind all I could think was that I would rather be back in my bed.When we returned home the guilty feeling popped back up to say hello. I was questioning whether I had spoiled a potentially good afternoon out by feeling so low and negative?

So its now Monday and its back to dreading the nursery run this afternoon. My youngest hates going in her buggy and spends the hole time she is in it trying to get back out, if i put her in her smart trike she quite often tries to get out of that too. Its not a long walk but it's right before her nap time and when she's tired her temper and stubbornness go into over drive. I try to avoid stressful situations but unfortunately this is one situation i can't avoid.

Another day nearly over

Thank god its nearly bed time. Who knows what kind of sleep I'll get but what I do know is I will wake up feeling as tired as I do right now!

Wish I could shake this feeling of guilt. Todays guilt is mainly to do with the kids. I can't help feeling that my depression is rubbing off on them. My 3 year old just thinks that I'm not feeling well and won't be at work for a while. My 1 year old has become extremely clingy and won't leave my side. Its thanks to them though that I get through the day, its a struggle but they're worth struggling for.

hello depression :(

So its official, i have depression! Maybe I have known this for sometime but struggled to accept it, but all of a sudden i can't cope! I can't sleep or I sleep too much, I'm irritable and have low self esteem, I'm so negative and struggling to see the good in things, I'm struggling to deal with my little ladies and to keep up with house work, I have little interest in anything but worst of all is the overwhelming feeling of guilt! And with the guilt comes the tears, the panic and the anxiety about feeling like this.

Who knows how long I've been depressed for, I've not felt myself for sometime now. Nothings clear in my fuzzy little head anymore. I have seem to have lost the ability to process any kind of thought and seem to struggle and panic about the littlest of things.

However what I do know is that with the support of my loving partner and supportive friends and family that i may just find light at the end of this very very dark tunnel.